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“People who seem to enjoy their ill-temper have a way of keeping it in fine condition by inflicting privations on themselves.”
- George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss
I had this discussion with my brother several months ago, so my theory will not be new to him, but I’d like to hear what other people think…
(I say that, but maybe I wouldn‘t like to. Please keep comments, whatever comments there may be, RESPECTFUL.)
Even before I left the church I had been developing the idea (over the course of several years) of how God reaches everyone, wherever they are, in order to bring them to “Himself.” (Herself.)
I believed that this explained the existence of soooooo many intensely divided and varied denominations within Christianity. Just off the top of my head: Baptist (Independent Baptist, Souther Baptist, Free Will Baptist, Cooperative Baptist), Anglican, Episcopalian, Presbyterian (Reformed Presbyterian, Presbyterian Church in America, PC USA), Catholic, Charismatic, Lutheran, Methodist, Mennonite, Quaker, Brethren, Pentecostal, Mormon, ETC! If I failed to include your denomination, I believe I can be forgiven. It was my understanding that God knew how best to reach each and every individual, and in doing so God provided a denomination appropriate for that person. This is an oversimplification, really, but what I mean is… I was taught that God loved and desired everyone. And that God would do whatever it took to reach one soul. I believed that this is why no scientific evidence existed to disprove the theory of evolution. (When I say “no scientific evidence” I mean no evidence such as a missing link and/or irrefutable proof of the discovery of Noah’s Ark… nothing that would bring Christians everywhere to their knees in doubt regarding the authority of the Bible.) God, knowing that people are individuals with individual needs and passions and intellectual gifts and backgrounds and families and tastes and abilities, God met those people where they were and offered them enough light and understanding to believe in the faith that He knew they could handle (if, of course, the person desired a faith at all).
So. When I left the church, it occurred to me out of the blue. WHY only Christianity? If this theory o’ mine is true, wouldn’t it extend to include whatever religion an individual soul needed to find a path to God? I mentioned in an earlier post how watching The Kite Runner felt so familiar to me… the hymns, the desperation to reach out to a higher power, the belief that God was in control and aware of human need.
Last week at work I listened to an audio book called Shattered Dreams. It was the memoir of Mormon fundamentalist woman and her life as a polygamous wife within that religion. Again, SO much was familiar. The absolute certainty of one’s faith, the tight, literal interpretations of scripture according to a particular viewpoint, the community of faithful support among fellow believers, the certainty of a particular belief system.
Madeleine L’Engle believed, and wrote about, the idea that a God of Love. Real love. Would at some point redeem all of humanity. If you asked me today if I believed in the existence of God I would hem and haw and express my uncertainty and the incongruity of it all, but ultimately I would probably say yes. If you asked me what kind of God I believe in, I would say this kind. That kind that unites, instead of divides. The kind that loves.
That’s all I’ve got temporarily. More soon.
My new, best reason to love Barack Obama:
Dar To Perform At Obama Fundraiser
Dar will be performing at a fundraiser for Senator Barack Obama on Monday, February 4 at 6:30pm on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
(from darwilliams.com)
Dwelling on the positive: My kitten is curled up asleep on my feet right now.
Totally changing the subject:
As a senior in high school I elected not to go on our “senior trip.” Unlike the local public schools whose senior trips involved booze cruises, European vacations, or tropical getaways, our senior class got to go to Washington DC. To sit in on sessions of the senate and have lunch with Lindsey Graham and tour the monuments and really overall just to learn how great and Christian America is.
With the principal.
And his wife.
And sometimes the math teacher.
Now. When I write it that way, I can understand why you would be surprised when I tell you that my decision was not considered wise. In fact, most people were horrified. Most of the kids in our class had been at the school since kindergarten, or elementary at least. We were family. Of my graduating class of 29, 15 of us had known each other since we were 5. Everyone went on the senior trip.
I can’t remember all of the reasons that I gave for my decision. I think it involved money, taking time off of work, needing to be in town for some such thing. But honestly, the only reason I didn’t go was because I didn’t know where I would fit. At this point I could see clearly how the lay of the land stood regarding class politics. The ultra-fundamentalists who were going to Bob Jones/Pensacola after graduation, the secret rebels who sometimes listened to rock music and had parties, the mid-stream Christians who went to churches that were not independent Baptist and who sometimes went to contemporary Christian rock concerts. And I knew that I didn’t belong to any of those groups. Even now I could split them up and remember who “toured” DC together. The Christian kids, the cool kids, and the in-between kids.
None of it was for me. And I know that most people saw my decision as a giant snub. They assumed that I thought that I was too good for them… not, in fact, that I simply felt alone and very much an outsider. Their efforts to shore up their pride in the face of this snub revolved around the idea of making me think I was a freak. I was told to think very seriously about how much I might regret this decision later in life. This was “the greatest time of my life” and to miss this trip with my “friends” would be a huge mistake.
Out of the blue all of these memories came flying at me this afternoon on my way back to work. And it made me laugh. Who still thinks about high school? We are not that for removed from the event, but our lives are so incredibly more complicated and, hopefully, more rich than they were 7 years ago. I cannot imagine, for the life of me, looking back on that time at all…. much less with regret! What baffles me is that these warnings about regret were given by adults as often as they were given be my peers. What kind of life did they expect me to lead if this trip was going to be one of its giant markers???
I don’t know that there is anything significant to this post, but it just struck me today and I thought I would share. Next time I will tell you about “prom“!!!
Not Your Year
Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.
Every day it starts again
You cannot say if you’re happy
You keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe this is not your year.
Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There’s a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
living easy, getting kissed
while you wonder what else you’re doing wrong
Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating “don’t give up, don’t give up, don’t give up.”
I’m tired of “focusing on the negative.” But I am also tired of others telling me to stop focusing on the negative. If I were to do a quick recap of the last 6 weeks it would be just too depressing to read. Instead, I offer you music! Music is good. I like music.
I discovered the weepies (officially) only a couple of weeks ago. Love. Go buy their CDs.
