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A couple of the better poems I have written were both written as a response. The first was in response to a news article about the Homo Floresiensis species and discoveries related to it. (Click on the title to read more about them.) The second poem was one of my favorite assignments: write a poem in response to a work of art.
Survival must have seemed pointless
just briefly, when the last male dangled
from komodo lips and you realized,
suddenly, that you were the last.
But perhaps the possibilities began to open
and you began to rule this small island
with affection, shedding temerity and
indulging in the benefits of island living.
How much sweeter is the fruit that’s
stolen from ancient enemies?
and how swiftly would your small feet
carry you to extinction?
But no one expected this -
when my tools chinked softly in the dust.
You’ve been unearthed – buried in
secrets and silence these few thousand years.
Coughed up from the earth’s silt
to change and challenge the Great Theory -
the surviving member of your species:
one single, strong female.
Alvaro and Christina, by Andrew Wyeth
Alvaro and Christina
The door stands out.
Bright blue threaded with light blond stitches,
Deep cuts furrowed by sharp claws.
Its frame weathered by time and feeble, tired hands
As if the pain were imparted, absorbed.
The tools are subdued
Grayed out, lying useless as the trembling hands
That once clutched them.
Dust gathers here, in cobwebs at home among the bristles
Of a skeletal broom.
What once dwelt here,
Never rich, but thriving, independent and beautiful,
Remains. And it falls across you
As you enter, the way the light falls on that
Blue door.
First fire of the year/season. I am a bit… obsessed. And also, utterly exhausted.
Not to belabor the point, but the classic definition of “introvert” is a person who loses energy when around crowds/strangers/etc. and gains energy from “down” or alone time. An extrovert gains energy from being around people and loses energy when alone. This sounds very much like a bad video game, but it is so true! I worked a wedding on Saturday and spent Sunday meeting some of Dave’s friends and photographing his best friend’s family: new baby and grandparents in particular. Sunday night I was useless. I was completely drained and barely mobile. Monday morning was no better.
But. I voted. Early voting in N.C. opened up several days ago and this morning I took a break to go vote. I cannot put into words how much this election means to me or how much I believe in Barack Obama. Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGraCrU_mR8&feature=channel It’s not hugely dramatic or pointed, but it is one of the many reasons why I have given my money, my time, my voice, my prayers to Barack Obama.
Ok. I am still REALLY tired. I’m off to read and watch the fire and probably fall asleep doing both.
P.S. Here is a video of the rally Dave and I were able to attend with Barack and Joe, the day after the debate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQjlx_mCURs&feature=related
Most, but not all, of the people reading this blog know that I am an assistant wedding photographer on the occasional weekend. Most of you also know that I am an introvert. Tomorrow I have a wedding to shoot in Wake Forest and I have already started to prep myself. Deep breathing and all that. It is the weirdest experience to show up as a stranger on someone’s wedding day and insist upon being there during the most personal and intimate moments of that day.
I think that I, consciously or unconsciously, begin counting down until time to go from the moment I arrive. Because Gah! Strangers! Public! Talking! Gah! I am not sure an extrovert can truly understand what the physical and emotional affects of being an introvert are. Predominantly, it is exhaustion. It also makes us kind of weird.
Having said all of that, tomorrow should be the best kind of wedding since we are going to be given full creative freedom. Meaning I am free to take pictures of the bride’s eyes, a hand on a hip, hands tying bows, etc. instead of the more traditional straight poses.
I’ve been doing this for… 3 years? Two? I can’t remember now, but it’s been good. Despite some bumps I have learned a ton about how to be a better photographer. I love getting a shot that I know will thrill the bride and groom, or their family. This makes me happy.
People hearing that this is my job ALWAYS comment: “Oh I bet you know EXACTLY what you want for your wedding then!”
I do. I want to elope.
Apart from when I am with Dave, the Eno River is the only place in this part of North Carolina where I feel truly relaxed and at home. Considering the mental, spiritual, and emotional benefits I receive from the river I should get over there much more often than I do.
And really the only reason I have for posting this is to share this photo, taken on the Eno. My favorite of anything I’ve ever done, I think.
Good things going on in my life tonight:
The fact of Dave, my friend Jo Carol who is lovely and hard-working beyond belief, the fact that I have two kittens curled up into each other, both lying here at my feet on the bed (Madeleine has her tail tugged up by her face and clasped between her paws, just as thought it were a Blankie)… etc.
Oh, also, the fact that it is SO close to the time at which I can justify having fires in the fireplace. That cannot get here soon enough.
I was able to import all of my old posts from the blogger site into the new wordpress blog, so you will notice that my “archives” list has suddenly increased ten- or thirteen-fold.
Also, Shamless Plug, I have posted a link to my etsy shop if anyone is interested in that. It’s there, on the left. But all the other links there on the left are MUCH more interesting. Check them out.
I need a project. I’ve been saying this for months, maybe years… haha. I need an outdoor project that requires a lot of manual labor. Gardening might work, but it’s too late in the year for that. So… what? It needs to be low-investment, unless you want to pay me to build something for you! That would be cool.
Ideas? Anyone?
Here, I give you a song. You can play it by clicking on “my box” on the bottom left of the blog. It is by Over the Rhine and you should by their music!!!
If A Song Could Be President
If a song could be president
We’d hum on Election Day
The gospel choir would start to sway
And we’d all have a part to play
The first lady would free her hips
Pull a microphone to her lips
Break our hearts with Rhythm and Blues
Steve Earle would anchor the news
We’d vote for a melody
Pass it around on an MP3
All our best foreign policy
Would be built on harmony
If a song could be president
We’d fly a jukebox to the moon
All our founding fathers’ 45’s
Lightnin’ Hopkins and Patsy Cline
If a song could be president
If a song could be president
We could all add another verse
Life would teach us to rehearse
Till we found a key change
Break out of this minor key
Half-truths and hypocrisy
We wouldn’t need an underachiever-in-chief
If a song could be president
We’d make Neil Young a Senator
Even though he came from Canada
Emmylou would be Ambassador
World leaders would listen to her
They would show us where our country went wrong
Strum their guitars on the White House lawn
John Prine would run the FBI
All the criminals would laugh and cry
If a song could be president
In case you missed it, California will be voting on “Proposition 8″ – an ammendment that would ban gay marriage – on election day this November.
I desperately hope to write more on this subject soon, but I am much more desperate to call your attention to this fact and ask you to donate. I know, deeply, that the economy is in the toilet and generally people are afraid to part with their money on any terms right now. But I would ask you to consider whether or not you would feel comfortable standing idle while, say, your mother was denied the right to visit her Great Love on her deathbed because they were not married. The polls right now suggest that the ammendment to ban gay marriage is likely to pass, but polls of individuals who have been exposed to the message of No on Prop 8 are not willing to vote for the ammendment. They need money. They desperately need money, to get the message out that gay marriage is ALL about love and that fear has no place in this dicsussion. They are being outspent in record numbers by those who are afraid… who are threatened by the idea of gay marriage. If you are able, please help us educate others and STOP bigotry.
Donate.
One of my favorite party tricks in the past has been to reveal the true nature of my past – militant fundamentalism of the Bob Jones University variety. I was sent to a Christian school from the age of 5 until I graduated from high school. I can talk circles around an average Christian because during those 13 years I went to church a minimum of 3 times a week, I had chapel services every Wednesday, we had Bible class every day of the week for every one of those 13 years. I was a member of AWANA clubs for every year that was available to me. (AWANA is sort of like Girl/Boy Scouts on Jesus.) Every summer I went to Bob Jones summer camp. The year that I graduated I was sent to Summit, a Christian apologetics boot camp for sending young people off to the liberal world of higher education. During school I competed with other students in Bible memory, memorizing whole books of the Bible and/or 100s of verses that stood alone.
What I mean to say is: I know the same stories they know. I know the basis behind their fears and the twisted logic behind their arguments. So when I see a video like THIS I am not shocked. (I was not raised in the charismatic tradition, but I had lots of friends who were. We looked down on them, naturally, because they didn’t know any better, but we were “friends.”) The militant language used by those interviewed is perfectly natural to a fundamentalist, who believes that he or she is literally at war… they are at war against the powers of darkness, at war against the liberal forces in the media and in scholarship/universities, at war against those who threaten to “further” divorce Christianity from the moral structure of the U.S. In high school I read a novel written by a prominent fundamentalist teacher in which Christians were being hunted down and killed or jailed, because the liberals had finally taken over the country.
In short, fundamentalism is a life of fear: fear of sin, fear of not doing enough before Jesus comes back and judges you, fear of losing power to control the morality of others, fear of being exposed to temptation just by going outside and seeing evil billboards or hearing rock music in the grocery store. It goes ON and ON and ON.
I left the church 3 years ago, more or less, and it has been one of the most healing experiences of my life. I have always credited my breaking free to the book Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L’Engle. There is more than one revolutionary idea in this book, but the one that started my journey was the idea that a God of LOVE would have a plan for the redemption of all of humanity… that there could be no such thing as an eternal hell.
Naturally, this terrified me. But like many of the other fears in my life at that time, the concept became an obsession, and I found my freedom in the pursuit of this truth… the truth about love.
Current Events P.S.
This prayer was spoken before John McCain spoke at a convention last week:
“I would also pray, Lord, that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their god — whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his opponent wins, for a variety of reasons,” Conrad said.
“And Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you will step forward and honor your own name with all that happens between now and Election Day,” he said.
Now, let me call your attention to a few things in this little jewel.
1. This man, the Reverand Arnold Conrad, is telling his god that if John McCain loses it’s Buddha’s fault?!?! How outrageous and offensive and… On second thought… I’ll take that.
2. The only people praying that Obama wins are not Christians. Put another way, one cannot be a Chrisian and be a supporter of Barack Obama.
3. This man’s god needs to be threatened with “His” reputation in order to get “Him” to act in a way that the Rev. Conrad considers godly.
